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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27187835">Whoops</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkchi13/pseuds/Darkchi13'>Darkchi13</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heinz the Ocelot [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Phineas and Ferb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Day 5, Family, Human Perry the Platypus (Phineas and Ferb), M/M, Ocelot Heinz, Perryshmirtz Week, Pre-Slash, inator accident</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 03:54:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27187835</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkchi13/pseuds/Darkchi13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There is an inator, it blows up, same old song and dance or is it?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heinz the Ocelot [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Perryshmirtz Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Whoops</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It's a bit late but this is my entry for Perryshmirtz week day 5. I had a lot of fun writing this so I hope you enjoy.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So, you see my brothers the mayor right now, but I did some research. There was this huge thing with warthogs a while back and they set a new rule stating that the mayor can only be human so allow me to introduce the animalinator.”</p><p>Heinz pulled a sheet of cloth off a machine he had pointed at city hall. </p><p>“One blast of this baby and my goodie two shoes brother will turn into an animal making him unfit to be mayor and they will have to turn to me as his nearest kin to take his place.”</p><p>Perry kind of wanted to tell him that wasn’t how it worked but he was too busy getting out of the handcuffs. Free, it was a very familiar struggle. The same old song and dace which was a bad example as Heinz never used the same song and dance twice. Usually Perry was pretty good at getting out of the way when things explode. Not this time though. This time both Heinz and him got caught in a wave of light. </p><p>Through the sound of the inator falling apart he could hear a strange yowl and he shook his head hard. His body felt weird. Everything was sore as though he had exercised too hard and he felt off, like his bones were vibrating or something.</p><p>Silence filled the room for a moment before he heard a thud followed by the screech of a cat. Perry blinked away the remnants of light and looked around. Instantly he knew something was wrong. He could see a lot more than he was used to because he was taller. Slowly he glanced down and flinched. It wasn’t that he was taller. It was that he was human. He forced himself to take several slow breaths before looking for Heinz. This was clearly his fault and Perry was going to beat the scientist black and blue until he fixed it. </p><p>Before he could spot the man, something smashed into his knees, knocking him off balance. A wild cat of some sort was snarling at him and he froze. The beast came to just above his human knee and had black spots mottled over tan fur. It showed off its teeth and lunged for him again. Perry dove to the side and looked around the room. Where was Heinz and why on Earth did he have a wild cat in his house? He kicked out, catching the beast in the side and sending it across the room. It looked like being human gave him more strength. The answer hit him and perry resisted the urge to smack himself. They had both been caught in the light, so it stood to reason that if Perry was human than Heinz was probably an animal.</p><p>He looked around wildly and…there! He ran, diving to the side to avoid Heinz’s claws and swept his fedora up and onto his head. He then turned to face Heinz who was gearing up for another attack. All fight left the cat’s body once he saw the fedora on Perry’s head. The wildcat trotted over and chirped something that Perry didn’t understand. When the platypus turned human shrugged at him the cat huffed and walked over to a door. Perry followed and found himself in a walk-in closet filled with white lab coats. Heinz headbutted him in the knees forcing him in front of a mirror. Perry glared at the cat because he didn’t want to know what he looked like as a human. He wanted to be a platypus again. After a staring contest that he lost, blasted cats, he gave in and looked at himself. </p><p>Huh. Turned out Perry was average height for a human. He wasn’t as tall as Heinz but he was broader in the shoulder and had tanner skin. His hair was the same shade his fur had been and was luckily short enough it wouldn’t get in his eyes. For some reason the inator had put him in a suit that was also the same color as his fur. Strangely enough he was wearing orange sneakers which he didn’t think one normally wore with a suit but whatever.  The platypus sized hat looked ridiculous though. A paw, claws sheathed thankfully, battled his leg and he glanced down. Heinz was carefully holding a human sized fedora with his teeth. Perry took it a little suspiciously and checked it for traps before placing it on his head. Why did Heinz have a human sized version of Perry’s hat in his wardrobe? He decided he didn’t want to know.</p><p>Well at least the communicator had followed the change even if the hat hadn’t which made no sense, but Perry had long given up questioning how Heinz’s inators worked. He pressed the button on the communicator and waited. </p><p>“Agent P, How’s the assignment goi-woah.”</p><p>Monogram looked at him for a moment before shaking his head. </p><p>“Not well I see. Where’s Doofenshmirtz?”</p><p>Perry turned the watch so he could see the wildcat. Heinz let out a yowl upon seeing Monogram’s face which was fair. Perry felt like that too somedays. </p><p>“Is that an ocelot?”</p><p>“A what Carl?”</p><p>“It’s a type of wild cat sir.”</p><p>Perry thought about Heinz being raised be oceolots and decided it made sense. </p><p>“So Doofenshmirtz somehow turned you human and himself into a wildcat?”</p><p>Perry nodded.</p><p>“I’ll contact the host family with an excuse as to why their pet platypus will be missing for a few days.”</p><p>“Good idea Carl.”</p><p>A few days? Perry had no plans on being a human that long. Monogram must have seen the displeased look on his face because he shrugged. </p><p>“We’ll see what we can do about reversing it but without the original inator and Doofenshmirtz being unable to talk it may be slow going. Sit tight Agent P and we’ll contact you when we have news. Monogram out.”</p><p>Perry stared at the watch for a second before turning his displeased look on Heinz. The ocelot shank under his stare and Perry sighed. He reached out with a slow hand and scratched Heinz behind the ear. Instantly the cat relaxed with a purr and Perry rolled his eyes. Things would be so much easier if his nemesis could talk. Wait…hadn’t the boys invented something once that let animals talk?</p><p>On the one hand, bringing secret agent business home was a big no on. On the other hand, it wasn’t like the boys would recognize him. He glanced down at Heinz who was batting at one of his hanging lab coats and made up his mind. </p><p>XXXXX</p><p>It felt strange to be standing at the gate to their back yard. Being taller than it, able to rest his hand on it. The whole thing was bizarre. He could see the boys sitting under their tree chatting and he hesitated. Evidently Heinz got tired of his reluctance as he jumped the fence.</p><p>“Woah! A wild cat!”</p><p>“More specifically an ocelot. They are native to south western United States, Mexico and central and south America.”</p><p>Perry honestly was not surprised that Ferb knows that. He quickly followed Heinz into the yard and yanked the cat into his arms. Heinz yowled his displeasure but stilled when Perry started petting him. He wished the man was this easy to calm down usually. Maybe next time Perry would try stroking his hair before going after the inator.</p><p>“Hey, do we know you? You look kind of familiar.”</p><p>Perry shook his head and held out a piece of paper he had written on before heading over. </p><p>“Oh, your mute?”</p><p>Phineas took the note and read it out loud. </p><p>
  <i>“I heard you can speak to animals.”</i>
</p><p>Phineas and Ferb exchanged glances before nodding. </p><p>“Yeah, we made a machine a while back, but it’s been dismantled since then.”</p><p>Perry held out another note for the boy to take. </p><p>
  <i>“Can you make it mobile?”</i>
</p><p>He exchanged another look with Ferb who gave him a thumbs up and Phineas grinned. </p><p>“We sure can. Hey Ferb, I know what we’re going to do today.”</p><p>Perry sat back against the tree while they began to work and smiled fondly. He loved those boys so much. Heinz flopped over him practically covering his entire lower half and Perry started scratching behind his ears again. Ocelot he may be, but Perry thought he acted more like a large house cat. </p><p>“And what are you two doing?”</p><p>Perry glanced up from the purring cat in his lap at the sound of Candace’s voice. The teen saw him under the tree and stared. </p><p>“You turned Perry into a human? You two are so busted!”</p><p>Perry forced his muscles to stay relaxed even though he badly wanted to tense up. Why hadn’t he thought of Candace? She was the more observant one. </p><p>“What? No, we didn’t.”</p><p>“Please. Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. He’s right there. Not to mention his hair and clothes are the exact same shade as his fur.”</p><p>She pointed at him and frowned. </p><p>“Also, what’s with the big cat?”</p><p>“It’s an oceolot,” Ferb informed her.</p><p>“Okay, whatever. Mom is going to kill you. MOM!”</p><p>Candace raced back inside, and Perry sighed. He hooked an arm around Heinz and jumped up to hide in the tree. He held a finger to his lips when the cat stared at him. It flicked its tail but stayed quiet. </p><p>“Phineas and Ferb turned Perry into a human Mom. Come see!”</p><p>Candace dragged her mom into the backyard and then stared. </p><p>"What? But…but he was here.”</p><p>Perry waited until Linda went back inside and Candace wasn’t looking before he jumped back down. When she saw him the teenager glared at him. Perry debated the wisdom of his actions for a second before he winked at her. An angry flush spread over her face and the girl stormed back inside. That had been a bit mean of him, but Candace had yelled at him this morning. He could be a little petty occasionally. </p><p>“And done.”</p><p>Phineas and Ferb headed over to him and the red head studied him. </p><p>“Now that Candace pointed it out you do kinda look like Perry.”</p><p>Perry was trying to think of a way out of this conversation when Heniz pounced past him and Phineas, almost knocking the boy over. Ferb had, at some point, created a giant cat toy and was waving it around for the ocelot to play with.</p><p>“Ooh, can I have a turn?”</p><p>In answer to his brother Ferb pulled out a second toy for Phineas to use. Perry watched as Heinz battled at the toys. Chasing one and then the other as his boys laughed.<br/>
If he had ever considered introducing his nemesis to his family, which he hadn’t, it would not have been like this. </p><p>He basked in the moment though. In seeing his nemesis make a fool of himself chasing cat toys. In the sigh of his boys, both of them, laughing and smiling. He could put off being a platypus for a little longer if it meant they could have fun. He let them play until they were tired and then watched how Heinz lay down and let Ferb scratch behind his ears. He let the moment continue for longer than he should have. Ferb just looked so content with this dangerous animal sprawled over him that he didn’t want to interrupt but it was starting to get late, so he snapped his fingers to get their attention. Heinz grumbled when Ferb stopped petting him but rolled off and into a fading patch of sun to nap. </p><p>“Oh yeah, here you go.”</p><p>Phineas handed a collar to Perry. It was made of metal and he could see wires running through it and a spot that looked like a microphone. </p><p>“Put that around his neck with the microphone bit closest to his mouth.”</p><p>The boy then handed over a pair of headphones. </p><p>“When he talks you should hear the translated version in these.”</p><p>Perry turned to look at Heinz who lifted his head to look back. The platypus turned human held up the collar and watched as the cat’s ears went back and it growled at him. He stared back unimpressed and narrowed his eyes. After a moment Heinz looked away. He sat up and licked his paw before swiping it over his ears. He could hear Phineas muffling a snicker as he approached warily. Heinz didn’t move as he attached the color around his neck through his whiskers twitched. Perry than took the headphones and soon Heinz’s voice was filling his ears. </p><p>“I mean sure, I’ve thought of him collaring me before but not like this.”</p><p>Perry froze and stared at the cat who stared back.</p><p>“Oh shit. I had gotten so used to you not understanding me. Forget you heard that. Please.”</p><p>Yeah, Perry wasn’t going to be forgetting that. </p><p>“It working okay?”</p><p>Perry gave Phineas a thumbs up before locking eyes with Heinz and point at the gate. </p><p>“Fine, it’s a shame though. That green haired one gives good scratches.”</p><p>Perry had to agree. He had spent more than one night laying on the bed and getting scratches from Ferb. </p><p>“You should come by again,” Phineas told him. “We could make you guys an awesome cat toy. Even better then the ones we were playing with earlier.”</p><p>Perry gave the boys a wave and followed Heinz out into the street.</p><p>“You know, I bet those two would make brilliant evil scientists.”</p><p>Perry comes to a stop and grabs Heinz by the scruff of his neck to shake him. The ocelot twisted in his grip and hissed at him. </p><p>“Fine. I’ll leave them alone, but it is a huge waste of potential I’ll have you know.”</p><p>Perry narrowed his eyes and gave the cat one more shake before letting him back down. Heinz shook out his fur and took a swipe at Perry’s leg as he walked past.</p><p>“You know I actually rather like being an ocelot. Maybe I’ll stay as one. I’ll help fix you of course but I feel more comfortable now than I ever did as a human. People actually seem to like me this way too.”</p><p>Perry shut his eyes for a second. Well it would be a lot harder for Heinz to do evil in this form and it really wasn’t up to him. As long as Heinz restored Perry to his own body what he did with his was his own business. Perry would stick around either way.</p>
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